Shakti and the Bhakti Brothers
Kirtan is an ancient meditative practice of singing and chanting the names of divine archetypes, all aspects of the One. As we sing in praise of the Divine, the repetition builds momentum and is experienced as a kind of communal, internal wave. Part of what makes the practice so enlivening is the participatory element, the chanting as a group, accompanied by instruments such as guitar, harmonium and drums. Singers and musicians come together in an intimate, joyful blending of sacred sound that fills the space, often seeming to permeate and activate every fiber of one’s being.
No belief, prior experience or musical talent is required. You just show up and sing. Of course, as with life, the experience of kirtan is unique for each participant. Good kirtan has the ability to create community, quiet the mind, open the heart, stir the soul, and bring us into an embodied state of our own divinity. A tall order for a sing-a-long, I know! Until recently, my most memorable kirtan was my first – sitting around a living room with a guy on guitar, a guy on a tissue box for a drum and four singers. It was intimate and deeply sincere — and I was thoroughly unprepared for what came after the singing stopped. An inner vibration filled my Being — blissful, sacred and transformative on a cellular level. “I am not the same person I was when I began that song.” The gazes and smiles of my companions offered me the silent affirmation.
Yeah, that’s the thing – that is why we invited you to sit down and join us.
An inner vibration filled my Being — blissful, sacred and transformative on a cellular level. “I am not the same person I was when I began that song.”
I have a new kirtan story to tell from Sacred Circularities in Bali: Week Two. A new art form has been created there: the LED Hoop Kirtan. The participants can fill the space as they wish: sitting, singing, dancing or hooping. The LED hoops are mesmerizing in the darkness of evening and add to the trance-like atmosphere of our already magical setting. We gather in a covered open air space (the wantilan) constructed of dark Indonesian wood surrounded by rice patties and tropical jungle. It is a part of the sprawling retreat center of Ananda Cottages in Ubud.
Our musicians were Shakti and the Bhakti Brothers, a local band with two lovely young female singers on harmonium and guitar in the center and two men on either side of them on drums and guitar. One of the women had her young daughter laid out on a blanket behind her. I had a feeling that little girl had spent many evenings falling asleep to the music.
It was our second night together as a group and the kirtan had been rather quiet, at least that is how it felt from the inside. A handful of participants seemed familiar with the experience — a few were sitting quietly within the circle, a few were hooping on the outer edges. It was easy to think we were alone in our sanctuary in the jungle.
Toward the end of the evening as we were launching into Hare Krishna — what I think of as the signature kirtan song — a large, buff, shirtless and enraged Australian guy appeared suddenly at one of the entrances — shouting for us to turn down the music.
It was shocking and disorienting — and most of us were initially immobilized. Jaguar Mary —the leader of Sacred Circularities — made her way across the wantilan to address him. With the parting words — “just turn down the fucking amp” — he made an exit. As Jaguar Mary turned to go adjust the sound — something kind of interesting happened and I must admit I was a part of it. (I may have even started it.) There was a kind of energetic release upon his departure. The band started back up with Hare Krishna (before the amp had been turned down) and everyone started back in on the chant — with, I might add — quite a lot more vim.
Hey – don’t come in here like a drunk bull and tell me I can’t chant love songs to the Divine! Hare Krishna!!
But oops … you knew this was coming … he wasn’t gone.
Seconds later, he reappeared. He was even more vitriolic — because of course he hadn’t felt heard — he had felt mocked.
This time he headed straight toward the female singers — yelling obscenities —towering over them as they sat cross-legged on the floor with instruments in their laps. He raised a fist! He called the Bhakti Babes “bitches” right in the middle of our sacred space! (Curious he focused on the women, not the two men in the band.) It was intense and surreal.
Here is where I would like to indulge in being the (s)hero of my own story for just a slender minute. This time when he headed toward the Bhakti Babes (with the sleeping child right behind them) – I mobilized. I got up and went right toward him – putting myself in between (did I mention he was about 6.3”?) angry Aussie dude and our peace loving Bhakti Babes. I had no plan other than to be present and not sit there while he physically and verbally intimidated them. I believe I put my hand on his shoulder and tried to make eye contact and perhaps a.… “hey, hey”… nothing fancy.
Jaguar Mary approached from the other side of the circle and Jewelz from the middle. I would like to “sing up” their shero-ism (see previous post) as well. After a minute or two, and words to the effect that we were in the process of turning down the volume, he turned and exited once again into the dark of night — lobbing over his shoulder— “Bunch of fucking hippies!” Hippies ?! … well, I suppose he had us there.
What to do now? The band was very clear that we were not to stop singing – that we not be bullied into ending on that note. It was 9:45pm and we had permission to be playing music in the space until 10pm. They suggested that we sing a prayer for him – for all of us — kind of an energy clearing prayer — is how I took it.
I can’t remember the sanskrit words, the chorus was:
“Great Spirit Awaken, Awaken in Me,
Great Spirit Awaken, Awaken in All Beings”
We adjusted the volume down quite low and huddled into the center of the circle around the band. A few (s)hero hoopers in badass mode hooped along the outside of the circle keeping an eye out. I turned frequently to peer into that dark spot in the jungle —stage left. Security had been called but there was no sign of them.
Tension mixed with sweetness and good intention was in the thick Balinese air. Our individual and collective nervous systems were rattled and on edge. Was he coming back? This guy seemed very capable of really losing it. I was proud of us there – singing the few sanskrit syllables we could get our English speaking minds around — feeling into the heart of the words in the chorus.
Yes, indeed— May Great Spirit Awaken In All Beings. I will sing that prayer any time of the night or day.
We came to a soft landing with the song and were wrapping up with our namastes and thank yous. I was contemplating whether to say something to the group about the experience, perhaps invite people to stay and speak a bit about how they were feeling, make myself available in some way… when … HE appears again into the space!
I hear the words, “We were just praying for you.” He takes a couple steps in, and begins to … APOLOGIZE! He is sorry he “freaked out” like that, he doesn’t know what is wrong with him. There are a few murmurs of “Oh My God” or “Wow” or “Whoa”. Someone asks his name: “Phil”. What has brought him here? It turns out he is here on a yoga retreat that starts the next day. (I did not see that coming.) Someone asks if he wants to sit in the circle and sing a song with us. He comes and takes a seat on a cushion. The band, perhaps the most gleeful among us at that moment – exchange glances.
What song does this singular moment call for?
Phil doesn’t exactly sing — he half smiles and is respectfully attentive. Perhaps he has awakened, perhaps he is doing his penance on his way to awakening, perhaps after we turned down the volume he began to imagine what it would be like to see dozens of us at the tropical breakfast buffet every morning for a week. Regardless— we sing —if not a rousing version — an earnest version — of Hare Krisha.
After we come to our second and final round of clapping and bowing — Phil says his goodbyes. He apologizes again for the freak out and thanks us for praying for him. He offers — “At least I am in therapy for it.”
Throughout the unfolding of the evening, I had the sense of it being a fertile happening.
Throughout the unfolding of the evening, I had the sense of it being a fertile happening. The day before, one of the other Inner Alchemy teachers, Vasumi —in sharing Mayan calendar teachings— told us that this day was a Galactic Portal Day — meaning (I believe) that big and unexpected things happen. It was my experience that something significant had happened —and I knew I wanted to write about it.
Afterwards I had the chance to check in and process with a few of the other women present. Some expressed feeling sorry for Phil – imagining that his life must be hell. We wondered about our rousing celebratory chanting response after his first exit – that wasn’t very smart – what was that? Would it have been different if a male participant or teacher had been in the room? Would it have happened differently if it had been the famous Kevin James —the large buff Australian kirtan singer — who was with us for LED Hoop Kirtan the previous week?
What would Krishna Das have done?
What kind of pressure does it place on a man to be the one to deal with the threat of violence from another man? Did we let him off too easy? Does he get to get away with that? Were we trying to rescue him with our friendliness and ready forgiveness — after he had been so rude and out of control? What is the balance of compassion and justice? Were we protecting ourselves? Would he show up again in freak out mode in the middle of sound healing journey? Or be hanging around looking for more redemptive hippie love?
I am going to punt to one of my favorite poets, Ranier Maria Rilke:
“Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
For me, the most important thing was that we treated him like a human being – one that was trying to make amends and to become a more peaceful and mature person. We walked our chant of love and peace.
Two days later – Phil and I exchanged a long glance and a “good evening” in the lobby. My felt sense of that exchange was clean and clear. Only later did it occur to me that I could have “interviewed” him to fill out the telling of this tale.
In truth, though, this is the weaving of my own story of kirtan related transformation on Galactic Portal Day at Sacred Circularities, Bali, 2014. Speaking of my own story — my other significant take away is the celebration of the slender aforementioned (s)hero moment. A sense of satisfaction in the simple movement of rising to intercept the literal and metaphorical angry man. Not knowing what would happen but knowing that it needed to be done. You may be guessing that there is some history of not doing that – otherwise why would I be high- fiving myself here – and you would be right.
I reaffirm my revelation after my first kirtan experience.
I am not the same Being I was when the evening began. Perhaps none of us are.
I am not the same Being I was when the evening began.
Perhaps none of us are.
Inherent in each day, each encounter, each moment —there is a capacity to experience ourselves and Life in a fresh way — to take our next step into integration and wholeness. In the world of Focusing, we call this Life Forward Movement.
Blessings for Life Forward Movement
Blessings for Awakening for All Beings
Blessings for the Manifestation of Our New Story
Thanks for listening. And… Hare Krishna!
